


hidden

by rainsafespace



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Break Up Talk, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Memories, Pain, Reminiscing, SakuAtsu, What am I doing, i think thats it, its bad, sakuatsu angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:07:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29779386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainsafespace/pseuds/rainsafespace
Summary: Atsumu blinked. He could not believe this. He doesn't want to believe it. They've been together for two years, there is no way in hell this is true.His brother must be joking. He got to be pranking him. Sakusa love him. He loves him. They love each other. So, why would Osamu joke like that?But he knew. He knew he is just blinding himself because he is too hurt to accept the truth. He knew his brother is telling him the truth. He knew that Sakusa doesn't love him anymore.It's just too painful to accept.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	hidden

**Author's Note:**

> its not that painful i just wanted to try my writing skills after 2 years of writers block lmaoo anyway yeah if you wanna leave a thought, i'd appreciate that its cool if u dont want to u know what im embarrassed ill stop. its so bad btw

* * *

_Sakusa is hiding you because he doesn't love you anymore._

Atsumu stared at his screen, hoping for the text to change. To magically change. Hoping for the text to change to _“Sakusa is here, he is asking for you.”_ Hoping for anything but that message.

He pressed ‘call' and waited for his brother to pick up. 

His brother is just pranking him. Yeah, that should be it! It must be, right..?

_“Hello?”_ Osamu said through the phone. “You are joking.” He knew his voice is shaking right now. His brother would never ever joke like that. Yeah, they bicker left and right but their jokes doesn't go far. It's just sounds so fake to believe.

He heard his brother walk to a more secluded area. The noises went down so he probably went to the back of his restaurant. _“Yeah, I'm sorry. I overheard him and Komori talking. And I know! I know eavesdropping is a big no no but I heard your name and was also curious on why he was hiding you guys' relationship so I decided to stay. Sorry Tsumu.”_

He gulped with what he just heard. All of the words that came out from the mouth of his brother through the phone is going in and out to his ears. All he could think about is, what will happen between them?

“Okay… Okay. Thanks.. Samu.”

Ending the call, he went to the living room to directly ask Sakusa immediately when he goes back to their shared apartment.

It feels like waiting for an eternity. His thoughts are making him dizzy, he could not believe these are all happening right now. They were so happy. They were happy even if they were hiding so why? Why now? And why did Sakusa hid it from him? Does he not trust him? Or maybe he was.. being forced?

His thoughts stopped bugging him when he heard a noise, signifying that Sakusa is back. He stood up, walking to the door. Not even giving Sakusa a chance to close the door, he opened his mouth to ask.

“Do you not love me anymore?”

He waited patiently for the other's answer. All he could do right now is to stare at Sakusa’s eyes.

He felt the atmosphere around them drop. Sakusa was looking at him like he caught him in a crime. It's so painful to wait for his answer, to know if he still love him but he waited. He waited for Sakusa to reject the idea.

“Wh.. Why would you even ask that? Are you pranking me?” Sakusa chuckled. But, he knew that chuckle is a chuckle out of nervousness. 

Sakusa quietly put his belongings in the table nearby and looked back at his boyfriend. Or probably, soon to be ex.

Atsumu turned around, not facing Sakusa anymore. He feel like he would burst out crying if he keep staring at Sakusa's eyes any longer.

“Just yes or no. Do you still love me Omi?”

Sakusa flinched at Atsumu's voice. Not only was it cold, but he did not use the nickname he made just for him. ‘Omi-omi kun’. Where did it go?

Biting his lip, he slowly mess with his hair. “Ye.. Yes.”

And there, Atsumu finally let go of the tears he's been holding back ever since Sakusa arrived.

It hurts. It hurts like hell. To know the person who once spent all his money just to ask him for a date, to know the person who once asked him if he could court him, to know the person who once welcome him with a hug, to know the person who once said ‘I love you' to him, is now agreeing that he did not love him anymore.

Atsumu sat on the sofa. Even though it hurts and his heart is literally breaking right now, he wants to know Sakusa's side, his reason of why he lost his love to him. “Why?”

That's all the word he could say. His mind is slowly eating him. This is bad, I should not act out of my emotions. He thought, waiting for Sakusa's response.

“I don't even know..”

His heart continued to break at that.

His thoughts are coming back, making him overthink.

_Did he even love me in the first place? Was it all a joke? Was I only a person he could go to when he was bored? Am I loveable? Did we even had the spark like those in the fics? Did we even loved each other?_

All of those questions are remained unanswered and he absolutely hate it. He have so much questions to ask for Sakusa yet at the same time, he doesn't want to hear any of it.

Meanwhile, Sakusa’s heart is also breaking by the sight of his boyfriend, Atsumu.

His face, his face that always wore a smile whenever he was around, is now filled with pain.

He couldn't shake off the guilt that's slowly filling his body. His hands started shaking, wanting to snake it on Atsumu's waist and just hug him until he run out of tears.

But, he can't do that anymore.

“So this is the end?”

Sakusa flinched.

Is he ready? Is he ready to let go? Will he ever be ready? 

No. He will never be ready to let go.

But, he had enough being selfish. Hiding from Atsumu that his love from him was long gone yet still made him stayed was selfish enough. He is tired and he also knew Atsumu deserved so much better.

He nodded, not trusting his voice.

“Okay then. Love you Omi.”

Atsumu, with tears on his face, stretched out his arms, inviting Sakusa in it.

Atsumu may or may not be stupid. He knew this was gonna be the last time they'll ever show their love for each other, even if it’s one-sided, so he want to hug Sakusa for the last time.

Yet, his mind is screaming for him to run away already.

He, of course, didn't listen.

Sakusa slowly walk towards Atsumu and finally, their body collided.

Both of them can feel the pain just by the hug they are sharing. It looks like their memories are popping up at the top of their heads, appearing one last time.

Both of them can hear each other's sobs. Both of them wanna comfort each other. But, both of them can only hug each other.

After what seems like one minute, Atsumu let go. He bit his lip, “Goodbye Omi omi-kun.” he muttered before opening and closing the door.

That's the cue for Sakusa’s tears to finally drop. Earlier, it was just drop there and there, but now, it looks like a strong rain.

This is really the end. Atsumu and I aren’t together anymore. We are not together anymore. We are no longer together. We let go. And it's all my fault.

Sakusa gathered his hair by his fist, pulling it while inhaling and exhaling. He needs to calm down. This was all his fault from the start.

He look at the polaroids of them hanging by the wall. He remember them arguing just because of it.

_“What is wrong with it Omi omi-kun? It's so cute!” Atsumu squealed, playfully glaring at Sakusa._

_Sakusa sighed. “No. Let's put curtains instead.”_

_Atsumu widened his eyes by the statement of his boyfriend. He couldn't believe he is choosing curtains over polaroids!_

_“You're so boring Omi omi-kun. Here, look at my masterpiece.”_

_He slowly hang the polaroids of them and smiled. “See? Cute, right? Right?” Atsumu look at Sakusa with hope filling his eyes._

_He wanted to say no but he know that he is only lying to himself._

_By this, he can also remember what happened there just by staring at the polaroids._

_One, that polaroid of Atsumu looking at an onigri with a smile on his face, while Sakusa was at the back, just staring at the food, was Osamu's first opening for his restaurant._

_Second, that polaroid that's hanging at the very top where they are both posing a peace sign with flour on their hairs was their first time baking a cupcake together._

_And many more memories are coming back to him, making him smile._

_So, he muttered a yes quietly._

_By this, Atsumu jumped up and down with a teasing smile planted on his face._

Sakusa smiled at the memory, his eyes travelling the living room of their once shared apartment. 

He slowly stand up, whispering to himself,

“At least he won't be hiding himself anymore. He doesn’t deserve that. Ever.”


End file.
